Overcoming character defects isn’t something to take lightly and we should give much attention to this topic. Many people encounter difficulties when trying to overcome their character flaws and defects. I’ve gone through the same thing and all I can say is that it isn’t easy. If you’re looking for a quick fix, well you’re not going to find it here. Overcoming character defects will take a lot of time and effort, but not as much as you would think. In this article I’m going to go over 4 strategies that will assist you in overcoming them.
Number 1, write a journal. At the end of each day I write in what I have called “My Emotional Journal”. This helps me keep track of what happened throughout the day, how I felt/reacted and what I would have done differently. The journal can assist you in identifying behaviors that need your attention. Your awareness of various character defects will increase.
When I started journaling it became obvious to me that I had a habit of playing the victim. I wouldn’t have discovered that if I didn’t write in my journal. The best way to utilize this journal is to just let your mind speak freely without any judgments on your part. Let the mind express itself fully; so that the light of awareness can be shed upon it. Only when you allow all that is within yourself to attempt to communicate with you will you attain the necessary information to see what you need to heal.
You can also use this journal as a tool in reprogramming your brain. For example, let’s say you discover through this journal that you have a underlying belief that you are not worthy. You could use this journal to be a channel to help remove this belief by writing things that you would prefer to believe. Such as “I am worthy because of the fact I am alive.” or “I am Worthy, because I choice to be this worthiness right now.” You can commit yourself to writing this in your journal for a week, month or even year. However long it takes for you to believe it.
There are many entries in my journal where I would write “I am Worthy” and start explaining why that is so. You could also spend some time just writing the term repetitively; whatever works for you, that’s what matters. I like to write the terms “I am Worthy” or “I am Successful” repeatedly so that this belief can be instilled into my consciousness more firmly. I even write poetry in my entries to help enrich my emotional experience for purposes of upliftment or releasement. For example, if I’m feeling down, I write darker poetry to help release these toxic thoughts and feelings; if I’m feeling uplifted I write about love, compassion and unity. This will assist you greatly, allow your creative self to shine.
Strategy number 2, acceptance. Acceptance allows you to see that you really don’t have any character defects; instead they are testaments of your perfection. When you accept yourself for who you are, including your character defects; you discover that it is your perceived deficiencies that make you perfect. Everything is held in balance, you will have traits you excel in, then you’ll have traits you do not excel in. They’re all meant to keep the perfection of your being balanced in a way that allows you to reach for the infinite understanding that is housed within your beingness.
Acceptance dissolves the illusion of perfection by showing you that all is already perfect. These traits or character defects you don’t like are a result of judgments. Acceptance doesn’t place any sort of judgment on life, because it sees it all as being good. There is never a moment of judgment from the awareness of our Creator, because it sees everything as the perfection it constantly is. Thus when you see all as being perfect, when you accept the perfection that surrounds you; judgments melt away and all that is left is the perfect being you’ve always been.
One way to practice acceptance is to question everything. Question your beliefs, judgments, ideas and understandings in a way that allows you to grow from them. When I started using acceptance in my life I discovered that the idea of negativity is actually positivity in a disguise. All that is needed is for your focus in discovering the good in it. Question everything to get to the core cause, then accept the reality of the problem, release the blockage(whether mental or emotional) and replace it with a more preferable idea/feeling. You can only find and locate the cause when you acknowledge it’s existence, that’s where acceptance comes into play.
For example, I have a past that I once believed was negative, but in reality it was a blessing in disguise. The only reason I couldn’t see this Truth was because of the fact I didn’t look for it. When I started to evaluate my life I discovered if it wasn’t for my past, I wouldn’t be who I am right now. I wouldn’t have had an spiritual awakening. Literally everything that I’ve come to believe and discover wouldn’t have been possible without my past. From the moment I accepted my past experiences I was able to release the built up trauma from the past and discover the Truth that has always been hiding behind it.
So make sure to find the positivity in your seemingly negative character defects. They’re merely attempting to help guide you to a train of thought, a understanding that will truly help you grow. Don’t reject your defects, accept them for what they are and find the positivity imbued within them. So remember, question till you find the cause, accept the cause, release the toxic idea behind it and then replace it with an version of the Truth you prefer. It’s really that easy, but can be difficult at times to practice.
The 3rd strategy in overcoming character defects is take responsibility over your life. You are the one who is in control of your life. No one can influence you unless you allow them to. Take responsibility over your life and realize that only you can overcome your character defects. No external person can do that for you, it must happen by your effort alone. Explore your inner world, take responsibility of your inner world. Quit blaming outside circumstances for why you are where you are in life.
Many times we cannot overcome our character defects because we still give into the belief that things external of us can influence us. For example, let’s say your trying to get over anger, but you live with someone who makes you angry. You blame this person for why you cannot overcome this anger, because you believe they’re interfering with your ability to handle anger. You want to get them out of your life, but you can’t; thus you blame them or even the creator for your misfortune.
The Truth is though, if someone makes you angry and you cannot get away from them, it’s because your being guiding by your higher self to take responsibility over your life. Those situations that trigger your anger are not meant to be perceived negatively, but instead be opportunities for you to take responsibility over your life and show to the universe that you have what it takes to be peace even if someone does something that would have triggered anger from you in the past. The reason you become angry is not to show you that you’re not evolving or suggest you’re doing something wrong; instead it’s meant to be a golden opportunity for you acquire the trait of acceptance and tolerance.
If your able to allow others to be themselves, without being triggered negatively; you’ve mastered acceptance and tolerance. Thus you become a powerful example for others to emulate. Be the peace in the midst of the storm. Peace comes from within; take responsibility of your state of being in each waking moment. Remember that you have the capacity to be whatever you want to be in each moment. No one can make you feel something that you haven’t allowed to feel yourself. Thus take responsibility of your life and stop allowing others to trigger you.
We have been raised in a culture where we focus upon the external world, but not the internal. We perceive events and circumstances in our life from a external point of view. We derive a sense of understanding that places causes outside of us. Thus we’re swept away by disempowerment from the very moment of our birth. We’re taught by our parents, culture and media that things that happen in our life are external of us. This is far from the truth, because we always have responsibility over our life. What outside of us was inside of us before it manifested into our external world.
We create our own reality with our thoughts, emotions and actions. So much so that we can even choose to ignore this fact in order to experience a life that seems like we are not in control of. Yet that is an illusion and will not hold up over the test of time; so do yourself a favor and take responsibility of your life. Be who you want to be in every moment and don’t depend on external stimulus to act as a permission slip for you to feel good about yourself. Be the goodness you desire in this moment right now.
The final 4th strategy in overcoming character defects is perseverance. There are going to be times that you find yourself struggling to overcome some character defects; especially when it comes to mental/behavioral types. You see, when it comes to how you think, speak and act, there is no quick fix because of the fact this is part of your internal world. Your not going to find a way to get this accomplished right away; there is no magic pill to help you with this, it’s going to take time. Thus you must persevere through the tough times.
Overcoming bodily character defects is much easier then overcoming your mental/emotional character defects. For example, a smoker can use Nicorette Gum in helping them overcome the bodily addiction to certain chemicals from cigarettes, but when it comes to your mental/emotional addiction it’s not that simple. A smoker will have to persevere through the times that they are triggered to smoke by some kind of mental, emotional or even external stimulus. You must find the strength within yourself to maintain the course that your on. If you stay the course; freedom shall be yours.
We must also remember to not get so hard on ourselves if we slip. If you find some character defects keep reappearing or repeating; be gentle with yourself and avoid feelings of guilt. Guilt will only destroy your sense of perseverance and thus never allow you to overcome it. You must accept the fact that you may repeat certain behaviors from time to time. There is nothing wrong with this; it is merely an opportunity to help you discover the perfection within you. When your able to do the things that you once would have felt guilty over with a positive attitude, you’re able to release the behavior because of the fact you’ve risen above the old programming.
I like to think of Thomas Edison and the light bulb. Did you know that he made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts in creating the light bulb? He’s not remembered for his failures though, but instead for that one time he was successful with inventing the light bulb. Thus you can see that our failures are actually assets. This goes the same with character defects, you could fail a 1000 times at changing them, but after that 1st time you’ve successfully done so, that’s all that matters. The sooner you accept the fact you will fail at times, the sooner you can accept the idea that your failures are meant to help you become successful in your endeavor.
That’s what I’ve discovered with my life; many times I would become very upset with myself over things I kept doing that I no longer wanted to. I would become angry and upset. I discovered though that I failed in order to help me come to a understanding that would allow myself to be successful. When you fail at changing a character defect; it’s meant to encourage you to look deeper into oneself, not to be distracted by guilt or negativity.
These are some of the strategies that I’ve used to help me on my journey. I do hope you find something here that will assist you. Have a blessed day and remember always that you are worthy, you are loved and you are magnificent.