The Three Essential Components in Living a Happy Life

The Three Essential Components in Living a Happy Life

There are three key components when it comes to living a happy life. We’re going to explore each one and give a basic rundown of them. With the proper mindset and attitude these three components have the potential to increase your happiness exponentially. It’s all dependent upon how you use them.

Acceptance Puzzle Piece Complete Inner Peace Admit Fault Shortco

Acceptance word on a 3d blue puzzle piece and a hole with the word Peace to illustrate the inner satisfaction and harmony you feel by admitting or accepting a shortcoming or fault

 

The first component in maintaining a happy life is Acceptance. Acceptance embraces what is and allows a more natural and fulfilling life to manifest. Acceptance doesn’t place expectations or requirements upon others or yourself. It constantly is aware of what is and doesn’t seek to change or modify it. Life is much easier when we accept the present. Whenever we become unhappy it is because we are failing to accept something. Peace is found within acceptance, because acceptance is peace. Accept that you are peace and you shall be peaceful.

Acceptance makes it easier to accept oneself by embracing your character defects and faults. Everything about you is perfect, even what you view as being a testament of a deficiency or lack. What you lack isn’t necessarily bad, when you accept your shortcomings and faults you can truly be yourself. What we lack is meant to help us appreciate what we have, in essence, when you understand this you see that even your lacks are testaments of abundance. You cannot lack something you already have in abundance, thus lack becomes another gateway to the realization of abundance within oneself. For all of existence is abundance and only the abundant can come to believe themselves as lacking. Thus our sense of lack is actually proof of abundance deriving from our free-will.

When we form attachments over certain ideas we believe it will provide the happiness we’re searching for. These attachments come in various forms, it could be as simple as wanting the approval of others or getting a big sale at your job. These attachments/desires are the root to our suffering. We emotionally identify with our ideas, thus creating a black and white paradigm. When we don’t get our way we react negatively because we invested so much emotional energy into what we desired. Desires are natural, you cannot live without them, but when our desires become the only thing we deem acceptable, we harm ourselves. We close our consciousness to other experiences and modes of acquiring wisdom that could be beneficial to us. Acceptance accepts what is present in the NOW moment, it embraces what is and finds the easier and softer way to get to where we want to be.

For example, let’s say you want pizza, you go to a restaurant and they don’t have any pizza, you were so fixated on getting pizza that you become upset and irritated. Your emotional charged desire created a situation where you overreacted when the prospect of not getting some pizza presented itself to you. Which caused emotions flair to the point where you could proper make a decision on what to do next. What acceptance would do in this situation is different, acceptance would accept the fact they have no pizza. Acceptance allows you to properly make a decision on what to do next. Acceptance would see that we could just go to another restaurant that serves pizza or it would see that perhaps there may be something new that we haven’t tried yet that we should. That’s how acceptance works, it embraces the present moment and allows the individual to make choices that can improve the present NOW. When we lack acceptance we fight what is and when we fight what is, we fight ourselves; because we are what is.

excuses vs resp

The second component to living a happier life is Responsibility. We must take responsibility over our own lives. No one is going to save us and if we want to be happy than we have to understand that only YOU can make yourself happy. Others will not make you feel good, boozes and drugs will not make you happy and a vicarious lifestyle will not satisfy. Only you are capable of making yourself happy. When you look at the word responsibility you can see two words in it. That being response and ability. Responsibility is the ability to to control our responses. You are responsible for how you react to events and things in your life. If you keep investing your sense of worth in things that are external, you become subject to the ebbs and flows of things outside your control. When we take responsibility of our own life we see that we have a choice. No matter what happens in our life we have a choice in how we react to it. Be responsible and choose how you want to respond to any given situation. If you want to be happy, than take the initiative and find the positive in whatever you experience.

For example, let’s say you get into a accident on your way to work. You could respond by getting worked up and negative about what happened. You could think to yourself “How am I going to pay for this?” or “I have a big sale today that needs to be closed at work, this wasn’t suppose to happen.” Anger would start to arise and it would affect your ability to think clearly and make proper decisions. That’s how the old you would react, but the new you, that uses responsibility in one’s life wouldn’t fret over this.

The new you would accept what is and take responsibility over how your going to react to this event. The new you would remain calm and call AAA and get your car towed. The new you wouldn’t worry about the big sale, but instead would call work to inform them you will be late. You would take responsibility by working within the present moment and do what you can do in the present moment. Then let’s say perhaps someone stops to make sure your ok, you start talking to this woman/man and hit it off really well and not only that but this person ends up being the women or man you marry. Since you remained calm by not getting worked up over things you cannot control you were able to properly be present in the moment and create a lasting relationship out of a situation that would have been deemed “bad” by your old self.

Many times we as individuals fall into the pattern of blaming others for our problems. We do this because many of us fear the prospect of being the sole contributor to our misery. We’ve diluted our sense of self to the point where we don’t want to accept anything that goes against our idea of who we are. We refuse to take responsibility of our lives because then it would unambiguously conclude that we ourselves are the source of our unhappiness and misery. We use ignorance to shield us from this sense of fear. As the saying goes “Ignorance is Bliss

Your responsible for yourself and how you react to life. Take responsibility in the present moment and be aware of the various opportunities that present themselves to you. Taking responsibility helps reinforce acceptance by giving you the tools to decide how you react to situation. Eventually you see that your internal state of being, your happiness, is your own responsibility. You have the choice to be happy no matter the circumstances.

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The third component to happiness is ForgivenessForgiveness isn’t the act of letting others off the hook. Forgiveness is the releasing of burdens you’ve taken upon yourself. These burdens are toxic to you and you alone. Your negative beliefs of others are your own negativity. They influence you the most, not others. Your negative thinking will make your life more negative Many times we hold resentments and grudges against others in an attempt to make them feel guilty, but yet these individuals whom we direct our resentment towards are unaffected by our resentments. Many of us develop the guilt paradigm because of family dynamics. We discover that making our loved ones feel guilty works towards getting what we want. This is disempowering behavior though since we essentially equates others as being the means to getting what we want. Plus when we get out in the real world we discover this doesn’t work with the average Joe, thus its a self-defeating behavior based upon its lack of efficiency.

When we refuse to forgive essentially we’re giving our power away to others. We’re investing into the idea that others have the capacity to hurt, offend or influence us. If someone does something that we believe is bad or wrong, we react negatively. The truth is though, even if someone does something we don’t necessarily agree with, we have the choice to react negatively or positively. The best way to respond to someone who is being negative is to infuse the present moment with more love. Forgiveness is a very powerful positive force when utilized properly. Forgiveness allows you to accept others for who they are and take responsibility for your own happiness.

Forgiveness allows more light and love to enter into your life, thus resulting in the increase of happiness in one’s life. Emotions are stored within our body and whenever we hold onto a emotion it manifests within our physical vessel. When we let go of resentments, we open up parts of our body that can be imbued with love and happiness. You cannot fill a cup if it already is full. One must empty their cup in order to be filled. Forgiveness helps us empty our cup of polluted and muddy water so that it can be filled with pure life giving water.

Forgiveness does not absolve others of their wrongdoing. They still have to answer for what they’ve done. Karma is not something that can be avoided, because with each and every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Everything that we do and project into this world comes back to us. When we forgive others we remove ourselves from the negative karmic pattern. We allow the Universal Creator to do as he/she sees fit. There is no need for us to get entangled in negative patterns that could be detrimental to our well-being. As the saying goes, “Let go and let God.

let-go-let-god

We’ve gone over the three key components of happiness. Of course each one of these could be elaborated upon ad infinitum. What we’ve explored is the foundation. With this understanding you can keep adding to it as you see fit. Take what works for you and adopt it into your life. That’s the key to life, finding what works for you. You may not necessarily agree with everything, but you may agree with some or a lot of it. Take what works for you and use it to improve your life, but always be open to new ideas and concepts. Don’t allow your preferences to dictate what is right for you, allow your true self to reveal what is right for you.

Timothy Frappier

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The Power of Forgiveness and Acceptance

The Toxicity of Non-Forgiveness

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In today’s society many view forgiveness as a self-defeating act. Many people wish to hold on to resentments and anger towards others because in their mind they feel it is justified. We attempt to control others by placing expectations upon them, these expectations are desires. We feel these desires/expectations are acceptable and a normal thing to do. When people don’t fulfill our desires we become bitter, upset and spiteful. We use this mechanism as a means to express to others that you’re doing something that hurts me, stop it.

No matter how much you think your anger, bitterness or loathing towards someone is justified, in the end your the one who suffers. We have no right to force others to act in a certain way, we can only be responsible for ourselves, no one else. By holding on to these negative ideas and emotions, you put your well-being in jeopardy. Recent scientific studies have shown that anger can cause depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, stroke and even a heart attack. These negative feelings and belief create imbalances within our emotional world, which then proceeds to breakdown our immune system and body.

The Pain-Body

Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle sees these negative emotions as being part of our pain-body. He describes the pain-body as this:

The pain-body is my term for the accumulation of old emotional pain that almost all people carry in their energy field. I see it as a semi-autonomous psychic entity. It consists of negative emotions that were not faced, accepted, and then let go in the moment they arose.” – Eckhart Tolle

When we hold onto feelings of bitterness, anger and loathing towards others we suffer greatly. Our pain-body will continue to manifest these painful experiences in our life. We attract that which we resist. The pain-body is a mechanism used to indicate to us that there is something we need to release. The pain-body isn’t negative in the sense it wants to hurt us, it’s negative in the sense because of our free-will we ignorantly choose to dismiss it’s signs and signals, thus continue to hold onto and accumulate more negativity. The pain-body can only persist if we remain stuck in the mind which gives us ample ammunition in the form of judgments to keep us bogged down in negative experiences.

Where There Is Forgiveness and Acceptance, There Is Healing

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The key to healing ourselves and our pain-body is forgiveness and acceptance. These negative emotions cannot exists in a place of forgiveness and acceptance. When we forgive others, its not us releasing the burdens of others, but instead it is the relinquishment of a burden we ourselves have been holding onto.

We are the ones who suffer the most because of non-forgiveness, not others. Many times the people who we choose not to forgive don’t even know you dislike or hate them. They continue on with their life, unaffected by your anger, bitterness and hate. So if your attempt is to punish others by holding onto these negative emotions towards, I have a newsflash for you, it doesn’t work.

Forgiveness opens the doorway to unconditional love, unconditional love has the capacity to heal all the traumas, hurts and pains from our past. The act of forgiveness releases these negative emotions stored in our body and opens them up for unconditional love to take its place. Thus the more we forgive, the more love can be embedded within every fiber of our being. The more love we have within, the more love we shall attract to us. We attract what we believe, think and feel.

The Beauty Of Acceptance

accepting

The act of acceptance is the beautiful dance of embracing what is. By accepting what is we’re able to flow through life in a much more graceful manner. When we resist acceptance, we’re going against the stream of life and struggle to move each moment. Acceptance is the key to properly handle the poisonous habit of forming desires. The only desire we should have is to be our real authentic self. If we hold onto desires that are external of us, it will result in suffering.

Accepting the fact that we are responsible for ourselves and no body else allows us to attain a state of sovereignty. The focus becomes on oneself, because in the end our individual reality is formed by us. The external world is an reflection of our inner world. What is in is out and what is out is in. Everything that we experience is of our doing, so when someone annoys, angers, frustrates or irritates us, it is our own doing. The moment we accept these feelings as being our own creation, the easier it is to release them.

Claiming responsibility of one’s life allows acceptance to flow naturally. By accepting others as they are and not what we expect them to be, releases the burden of carrying the baggage that is not ours to keep. We cannot control others and the sooner we come to this understanding, the better off we’ll be. Forgiveness can be considered an attribute of acceptance, with acceptance we see that forgiving others is an act of accepting them for who they are. Thus acceptance supplements the act of forgiveness by allowing us to ride the currents of life through the heart of what is. Because everything is what it is, embrace what is, be what is and know that forgiveness is what is.

Practicing acceptance is quite easy. When you feel negative emotions or start judging others, take a moment to pause. Observe the thoughts, sensations and feelings. Accept them as they are and attach no emotional judgment towards them. When we find the courage within ourselves to accept these emotions as what is, we make it easier to release them. When they’re released, think for a moment what belief or idea may have caused it, then explore that idea and observe what feelings and sensations arise. Accept those feelings & sensations and place no judgment upon them. This is the best way to practice acceptance, by doing this you release many burdens and bring peace into the forefront of your life. Keep practicing this until you feel you should stop, trust yourself and what you find, when doubt arises explore it and see what you find.

In Closing

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Acceptance and forgiveness is the key to a happier life. Acceptance is a state of being that embraces what is. By embracing the moment for what it is we bring peace, serenity and unconditional love upon this planet. We assist others by not casting judgments or placing unwarranted expectations upon them. By accepting others as they are, we bring harmony and unconditional love into our circle of influence. Therefore bringing the liberation of Earth closer into realization within the Eternal Now. Be consumed by the beautiful embrace of what is and forever be that which will always exist.

By: Timothy Frappier