Many of us fall into these patterns of depression out of habit. We’ve become accustomed to things going bad for us; thus we unconsciously keep creating circumstances in our life to mirror this internal belief. Depression is a result of a idea or an belief; it’s self created by us.
Many times depression is the result of desires, judgments and control. We desire certain things in our life, whether it be wealth, good career or fame. The point being is that we’ve invested our sense of worth into some kind of idea. This is a judgment and a contributing factor to why we’re constantly finding ourselves depressed.
We’ve been conditioned for so long to seek our happiness outside of us that it’s been imprinted into our unconscious mind. Many of us are unaware that we’re attempting to find happiness externally. Only when we gather the courage to look within ourselves will we find the answers we need.
The answer begins within the Eternal Now. By focusing on the present moment you start to see that life is a matter of choice. We can choose to be happy or depressed. Even if life appears to not be going in our favor we can still be happiness; because in the end happiness is a state of mind.
What I’ve learned on my journey of life is the importance of maintaining a positive attitude even in the face of so many circumstances that would justify why I should be depressed. Depression is a state of lack; lack is separation and separation only exists within duality. When we really start to see this Truth and live by it, not just say it, things begin to slowly change from within.
It is our depression that will help us relate to others. don’t view depression as a negative thing; appreciate it; love it and learn what needs to be learned in order for you to move on. Depression is result of our Higher Self; they’re trying to guide us to some kind of understanding. Don’t think that means your unhappiness derives from a external source; because in the end we are our Higher Selves. Yet since we’re still living in the land of duality; free-will is still considered and respected. Thus our higher-self cannot force us into this understanding, we have to genuinely desire it.
The outside world is an reflection of our internal world. When we are depressed it is so that we can refine ourselves through careful, compassionate and brave introspection. It is our moments of extreme depression and pain that we find our true strength as a people and individuals.
Seeing depression as a necessary catalyst for higher understanding and growth disempowers the negativity associated with it. Modern society is quick to judge individuals with depression as weak, unproductive or damaged goods. Yet in reality; those who have hit rock bottom and manage to overcome it find a boon that is the envy of many. This boon is a outlook of life discovered within oneself; it is the discovery of the holy grail within one’s temple. With this grail we discover the only thing required for us to drink from the eternal streams of happiness is choice. Happiness no longer is external; happiness becomes internal. Finding happiness transforms into being happiness.
What I’ve been working on is trying to be happy regardless of external stimuli. My mind can create a plethora of reasons and examples that justify why I should keep believing I’m unworthy, a failure and no good. These ideas reinforce my depression and keep me in a state of perpetual misery. Thus the need to counteract depression with sound reasoning has become a necessity if I am to live a happy life.
Something that I’ve learned that can really help in overcoming depression is view it in a different light. Where I see misery; I look for the happiness. Where I see pain, I look for compassion and where I see fear I look for love. I take the time to analyze my circumstances in order to maintain a balanced consciousness. Keeping these seemingly opposing forces in balance has helped me tremendously. By practicing this I’ve been able to maintain a loving state of being more frequently.
Rudolf Steiner encourages us to find a sense of balance as well. He viewed Ahriman and Lucifer as opposing forces that need to be held in balance. The Ahriman force is one that is solely planted in the concrete things of life. It’s sense of interfacing with reality is intimately intertwined with the human sensory inputs. It values what it can see, touch, smell, hear and taste. The Lucifer aspect though is more of a dreamer. It tends to separate us from our earthly embodiment by making us desire hallucinatory realities versus our present earthly incarnation.
“Lucifer is too warm, too flighty, too unstable; he inspires human fanaticism, false mysticism, hot-bloodedness, and the tendency to flee earthly reality for hallucinatory pleasures. Ahriman is too cold, too hard, too rigid; he tries to make people dry, prosaic, philistine, materialistic in thought and in deed — and hardens what would be healthily mobile, supple thoughts, feelings, and even bodies.” – Source
Rudolph Steiner teaches that the Christ Consciousness is the balancing of these two forces. It holds the two forces as one; constantly keeping them in balance in order to unite these forces as one. The Christ Consciousness is the unifier; while the Ahriman and Lucifer forces seek to separate us in one form or another. The Christ Consciousness seeks to create a coherent understanding that allows opposites to be one. By doing this; we essentially transcend the duality by refining our awareness to recognize the unity in all things.
When we keep these opposites in balance and maintain our own Christ Consciousness; we help created this unified understanding. This is the origin of the saying of ORDO AB CHAO; which is latin for “Order of out Chaos”. That is the work many of us have decided to undertake; this is why many of us are here upon this planet. To bring Order to Chaos; so that they may coexist as One. For in the end; all is One.
It’s also important to remember that things come in cycles; that includes depression. So if your depressed; the quicker you’re able to accept it, the sooner you’ll be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. When we boldly take the step to accept and embrace our depression we open up channels to infinite wisdom. It was during my darkest moments in life that I discovered who I am. Embrace your darkness; learn and look for the divine wisdom embedded within it.
This will take time; your not going to be able to find the wisdom in every experience immediately. Some things will take awhile in order for you to gain the proper understanding. The key to accelerate this process is patience. Patience is a virtue; one that keeps us in balance. Impatience creates restlessness, it makes us feel that we need something in order to be something. Yet all is perfect right now, there is no need for impatience because all is well in all of creation. Let go of expectations, judgments and desires; in the end they are poisonous unless balanced through the Christ Consciousness.
Many of us are afraid to let go of our desires. We’ve been raised in a materialistic society, where desire is the idol we constantly pay homage to. We’ve been living in this consumerist society for so long that it has become the staple of our life. We don’t know what to do without them; when we attempt to purge desires from our consciousness we’re left with the fear of losing our identity. This fear is why we’re really depressed; it’s not that life is bad; it’s just that our way perceiving reality is through the template of desires(wants & likes).
We’ve come to view desires as being a means to feel happy and fulfilled. When someone gets a new car, they feel good, when someone gets that job they’ve been trying to get for years, they feel good and when someone becomes famous, they feel good. The thing we overlook though is that this sense of happiness is fleeting. As time goes on, that feeling dissipates and we’re even more depressed then we were before. It also makes it harder for us to feel good again; we have to keep getting more, buying more and becoming more. Thus in the end; desire can only exist within the lack paradigm.
When we let go of the image we’ve created for our life and the judgments we have about it; then we can truly be happy. Depression cannot coexist within a consciousness that is free of temporal desires and judgments. This will be hard at first; but eventually though it will become easier. The turning point is when you can truly be happy regardless of outside circumstances.
So in a way; your depression could be a blessing in disguise. You could literally be one step away from total and utter liberation from the forces of separation. All that is required is for you to be the happiness right now. Because you are all that you need in order to be happy. So stop with the desires and start being that which you wish to be.